Engllish jokes only

indonoodle

indonoodle

New member
FLIGHT


A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is
good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH MY GOD!"

Silence.

Then, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of coffee and
spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!">:'(
 
A koala was sitting in a gum tree...... smoking a joint.

When a little lizard walked past, looked up and said,'Hey Koala! What are you doing?'

The koala said, 'Smoking a joint; come up and have some.'

So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed the weed.

After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was dry and that he was going to get a drink from the river.

The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far over and fell into the river.

A crocodile saw this, swam over to the little lizard, and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard,'What's the matter with you?'

The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned, and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile said that he had to check this out, walked into the rain forest, and found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,'Hey you!'

So the koala looked down at him and said,

'Shiiiiiiiiiiit, duuuuuude.....
How much water did you drink?!!'
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top